I am about half way through a book called The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Quest to Follow The Bible as Literally as Possible. For a book that I had thought would be solely humorous, I have learned some interesting facts about the Bible and its interpretations. The author, A.J. Jacobs, spends a year trying to follow all the “rules” in the Bible. Including the ones that make absolutely no sense. It’s a brilliant concept. Yet, I find myself noting one thing in the midst of my reading. If he was a woman, his experience would be vastly different because men and women are under many different obligations and rules throughout the scriptures.

So what reaction would this produce in a nerd like me? Well, let’s give it a try. It would be an interesting blog topic and definitely a learning experience. Unlike that author of the book (who is agnostic), I do believe the Bible and wish to understand it better.

I am friends with a Jewish couple who at one point in their lives barely acknowledged religion. Together, they found their way to Orthodoxy. Becoming an Orthodox Jew is no easy feat for someone whose Jewish life once consisted of eating bagels. I am always in awe of their devotion to their new life. Several years ago, I asked her how she did it. Her advice, one step at a time. You don’t become Orthodox over night. Each week, they tackled new goals. A very wise woman, indeed.

I would like to take their approach, finding Biblical concepts and examining just one or two at a time. Some topics that I want to explore off the top of my head are lying, gossip, modesty, vanity, headcovering, dietary restrictions, music, depression, idolatry, and female issues. There’s a possibility of me visiting a mikvah (the place women go when they’re unclean to get clean again ) I will also take part in some of the Jewish fall holidays that have biblical significance. And yes, it will all be documented here. Pictures, when applicable.

Project starts on July 1st. I’m not sure how long this project will last. Not a year, but I hope to draw it out through the winter holidays.

I have merged multiple blogs together. Now everything is under one roof. What hasn’t made it here, will be put up soon.

Like the layout? I have tweaked Derek Punsalan’s theme Grid Focus. And I only had to bug him once. It looks a lot different from the way it started, but I couldn’t have done it without an awesome foundation.

My “big” photography site is no longer here. I have decided to no longer pursue photography as a business. Don’t worry. I will still pursue it as an art. For everyone who has been looking forward to shooting with me, I would be happy to just photograph you. It would be free, minus whatever prints cost from my lab. I love photography projects, but I just don’t have the time or energy to build a business. Since I have turned away so many new clients, I decided that this was for the best. I am not superwoman and I need to let go of some things.

This does mean that I will have more time to focus on writing and preparing for future career goals. I am pretty excited about that.

Life is suffering, but life is also joy. This is something that I have learned over the past year. I have learned that one must embrace each of these in order to get the most out of life. In suffering, we learn and grow. In joy, we celebrate and remember all the reasons we have to continue growing. So I embrace this new sadness, knowing that we can grow from it.

It feels a bit silly to shed a tear over someone I don’t know, but Michael Jackson is attached to many memories of my childhood. The first time I performed in front of an audience, was at the age of 4 to Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean. I was moonwalking for my audience of family, after my mother insisted that I had to show them my dancing skills. I remember this specific moment in life because with the applause came years of gymnastics and dance lessons. If only my mother knew how much I loathed the spotlight…

Sudden deaths make us temporarily appreciate the here and now. I have decided to take some time to show appreciation for people in my life who I don’t always get to show appreciation for.

My Family.

My family is crazy. Sometimes I really wonder how so much could go wrong in one gene pool. As much as I joke about such things, I love every one of them, flaws and all.

My husband supports me in everything that I do. Whether it is school, writing, photography, or even my career goals, I can trust him to stand by me. He’s a support structure and source of encouragement that I had no idea could possibly exist in a marriage.

My father is one of my favorite men on earth. I could do an entire blog post about all the things that my father has done for me that in hindsight, I know were not easy for him. Yet, the most important thing he has done for me, is love me. A father’s love is irreplaceable.

I had so much luck with grandparents. For much of my life, I had four. I still have three. My paternal grandparents have always been good to me. My maternal grandmother is one of my best friends. Not a day goes by where I don’t miss my maternal grandfather, but I know he’s in heaven spoiling a great grandchild.

My Uncle Paul, by some miracle, is still living and for that I am thankful. My uncle is gay and he has AIDS, but I am never ever ashamed of him. I stand by him and will continue to stand by him for as long as I exist on earth.

I have reconnected with my brother. In that, I have also gotten to know his wife-to-be. I am proud of how they have both turned their lives around. For my brother, who I witnessed nearly die more than once, it makes me so proud to see him standing after overcoming so many hurdles.

I have a large family with many relatives. There are many aunts, uncles, and cousins. I am the youngest of a generation of female cousins who I have always admired in various ways. I adore the aunts that I have contact with. The same goes for the uncles that I have had a chance to know.

My Children.

There are dark times in my life where I truly felt my little monkeys were my only reason to get up in the morning. They are and will always be my greatest achievement in life. I could become superwoman, saving an entire city and it wouldn’t come near the satisfaction that I get raising my children. Even if motherhood plans do not work out completely the way I had hoped, I feel so fortunate to have my five amazing kids.

My Church.

It took me 29 years to find the right church for me. This is a church where I feel that I can grow as a Christian- perhaps even evolve- and I would still belong. I love the variety. It’s a delicate balance, but somehow it works. I feel blessed to have found this small church. If you think about all the churches I could have gone to in South Jersey, it seems like this church would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Somehow, I was guided here. I am also thankful that I was cooperative enough to listen to the guidance.

My Friends.

I have some really awesome friends. One group of mamas has stood by me for over six years. These women are such an important part of my life. Jennifer is one of my very best friends and she belongs to that group of mamas. I don’t know what I’d do without her. With Facebook, I have reconnected with some old friends and new friends. I am thankful for that as well.

If you’ve posted a comment in the past couple weeks, it’s no longer there. Sorry. Don’t be offended. It’s not you. It’s me.

Lesson learned. I won’t type posts out in Microsoft Word any more.

I’ll fix everything else around here later today.

Carry on.

For some nostalgia, you can look back on last year’s birthday post.

My 31st birthday is the 1st birthday that I will celebrate without the woman who gave birth to me. It’s bittersweet. Bitter, because I have experienced my share of crisis this year. Sweet, because despite it all, I’m still standing.

A random click out of nowhere. That’s how God works with me. One minute, I will be hopelessly lost and the next minute, there is such clarity that I am almost embarrassed for not seeing it before. My relationship with God is complicated and odd. I have never doubted his existence in my entire life, but I have doubted his agenda many, many times.

As I gear up to write birthday or New Year’s messages, it usually includes plans for the upcoming year. I have noticed a disturbing pattern that not once (seriously, not even once in 6 years of blogging) have my expectations ever been met. This is not necessarily a bad thing. As I look around at many areas of my life, I can see that while unknown to me at one point, life has worked out rather well. There are numerous issues that I doubted could ever work out for the best and yet, somehow they have and I am stronger for it. Because of that, some patience and trust should be granted to God.

Maybe I will get pregnant again. Maybe not. It’s time to realize that God may be wishing for me to open other chapters of my life. Most of my adult life has had motherhood as the focus. It’s a role that I will be eternally grateful to have, but I know that I am called to do more than that. I believe that given the dysfunction and pain that I have endured, it can & will serve its purpose as I get through school and prepare to help others. I have been tossing around the label “savior complex” in my head for about a week. While it most certainly can be unhealthy, I don’t believe that is wholly the case. Sacrificing yourself for others, is that really a bad thing? I simply don’t see the harm in using your pain and experience to empathize and help others through similar situations and trials. So, it is time to focus on this aspect of my life a bit more. Seriously, I’m 31 now…it’s time to get this show on the road.

And without further adieu, the tattoo.

The owner of the tattoo shop we went to is a Messianic Jew. We had a really awesome conversation about Christianity and Judaism.

It’s Hebrew (duh). It literally reads “to Yehovah” which is translated as “Belonging to God”. Comes from Isaiah 44:5.

I had originally thought to place it elsewhere, but after some thought, I decided to place it on wrist. It covers scars from a darker time, a lifetime ago. It seemed fitting to put God’s name over that old wound.

It’s a little distorted because of the camera angle & from the skin being puffy. I’ll post better pics when it has healed… Overall, I like it. He made the Hebrew lettering a bit more fancy which makes it more unique than other Hebrew tattoos.

And there you go, the 31st birthday post. See you back here in a year. No guesses on what year 31 brings. I’m just going to roll with the punches this year.